Oh the Responsibility

Ugh...yesterday, I felt like crap! Thanks to my husband, I don't anymore :)
During a meeting yesterday, (me interpreting), the hearing client made some comments that offended the deaf client. :( It's so hard to interpret those comments!!! Word for word, its so simple. Not that big of a deal. BUT, because I am the middle man, understanding both cultures, I feel the heat and unfortunately, carry it with me after the meeting is finished.
I left feeling responsible. Eventhough I just did my job, those hurtful comments didn't come out of my mouth (well they kinda did), but thats not how I feel.
I've gone to many workshops/conferences where the presenter emphasizes the IMPORTANCE of letting it go when the assignment is finished. We, as interpreters, see so many things and into so many lives. I remember one woman who did VRS interpreter actually saw someone kill themselves on the TV in the middle of the conversation. She felt so responsible and it was almost impossible for her to let that go.
That extreme example motivates me to take a deep look into the small examples in my everyday interpreting life. Simple comments such as "Isn't there someone hearing who can help me?", "Why are you flashing your hands in my face?", "How do you know? You're deaf!", can leave such an impact. But really, its not my job to protect anyone. AND, what I thought of yesterday, that Deaf client probably knows how to handle those situations better than me!!!! I mean, he/she is deaf, that is his/her life!
That is my fault for thinking I knew better.

After I finished work yesterday, I came home to talk to my husband about how that meeting made me feel. He is not an interpreter, but he can totally relate. Thats how I know it is not just an interpreting issue, but a life issue. I need to know when it is my responsibility and when it is not. When to feel bad and when I don't need to. Life is stressful enough, why carry on more than I have to!!!
I hope whoever, if anyone, reads this today, takes a little extra time to see if you are carrying around guilt for something you do not need to feel guilty about. Then, "Let it go and be at peace about it".

Interpreter perspective, Help?

I'm taking this online class to help prepare for the NIC exams. It's been really interesting! Right now we are in the unit of linguistics. I thought this would really bore me, but so far not so bad. The reports have really compared and contrasted English and ASL, and I've picked up some tips that will help me to interpret.
One thing I read this morning was about Vagueness. In English, it is common for a person to say a sentence and leave the meaning unclear- vague. However, ASL is ALL about meaning. What is the purpose of the sentence? What are you getting at? The answer to these questions really is found in the grammatical structure of ASL.
Interpreting scenario: The hearing person is talking and finishes a sentence without any obvious meaning. I interpret the same sentence in ASL and also leave the meaning unclear. The response I get is....the Deaf individual looking at me like "...and...". Then he/she usually looks quickly from me to the hearing person to see what the heck is going on. AHHH...this can be a freakout moment for an interpreter. I have to stay in my role, but I wonder how I could have interpreted that better to let the Deaf individual know that I don't know what hearing person is saying EITHER!!!??? So, that was my question for the day in my class.

...so much more than "just" an interpreter.

When I first was introduced to the Deaf world/culture, it didn't seem that different than my own. I had some friends (Deaf) who took me under their wing and welcomed me into their family. That is where the language was born onto my own hands. Ahh..what a beautiful and exciting time. From my first look into the Deaf culture, the only thing that seemed different was the obvious, they can't hear and they have a different language.

As time went on, I made more and more friends and I was more and more welcomed. I was not "learning how to become an interpreter". I didn't even KNOW about interpreting at that time. I was very "young". All I saw was I had friends.

Years later, and now I am looking back to those first encounters. So much has happened in that time, and I don't feel so young anymore. I've been hurt, I have hurt, I've been betrayed, I have betrayed, I've been judged and I've also judged.

Its a tough spot to be in the middle of two different cultures. To be in the middle of hearing and Deaf. To be honest, sometimes I envy the Deaf culture and their closeness. I have learned so much from the friends I have/had that it has changed my life greatly.

I have not met many interpreters who are connected to the Deaf community the way I am. Not just with what events you set up or how you "give back", but actually have a heart to heart connection. The only other interpreters I have seen this from are CODA's. I am not a CODA and I don't pretend to understand completely what it is like to be a CODA. BUT, I do think there should be a title for what I am. I mean, I didn't go to school to learn sign language. I learned it the same way a CODA would, (except that it was not my first language), from Deaf people. I didn't go to school to study the culture, I feel the culture within me. It came naturally. So what am I? I feel so much more than just an interpreter.

Introduction

So, blogging is pretty new to me. I've tried one before, but didn't seem to use it much. It was a personal one, and I thought it would be good for keeping in contact with my family. However, now I just use it to read what they write about and I have yet to write about my life. I'm starting this one to attempt at having a place to express about what I do for a career and how it is and is becoming part of who I am.
I am a Sign Language Interpreter. This is what the position is called, but what that means runs far deeper than just interpreting between two different languages. Another important thing about this career, is our Code of Professional Conduct (CPC) and learning how to use it as a guideline for our everyday encounters. This is something that I've found cannot be taught, but each interpreter must find it in themselves. Its a "gut-feeling" ethical decision maker. What one interpreter may chose, another may not. I am hoping to use this blog to create discussions with other interpreters or Deaf individuals to gain perspective and come together sharing our experiences. One important thing to mention: I will try my best to uphold the CPC especially confidentiality. Everyone who wishes to comment on this blog must also do so.
I have had a difficult time finding others to confide in and ask advice, so here is where hopefully it can be somewhat anonymous. Here's to the beginning of documenting the wonderful, frustrating, beautiful, difficult experiences of two cultures merging.