Ugh...yesterday, I felt like crap! Thanks to my husband, I don't anymore :)
During a meeting yesterday, (me interpreting), the hearing client made some comments that offended the deaf client. :( It's so hard to interpret those comments!!! Word for word, its so simple. Not that big of a deal. BUT, because I am the middle man, understanding both cultures, I feel the heat and unfortunately, carry it with me after the meeting is finished.
I left feeling responsible. Eventhough I just did my job, those hurtful comments didn't come out of my mouth (well they kinda did), but thats not how I feel.
I've gone to many workshops/conferences where the presenter emphasizes the IMPORTANCE of letting it go when the assignment is finished. We, as interpreters, see so many things and into so many lives. I remember one woman who did VRS interpreter actually saw someone kill themselves on the TV in the middle of the conversation. She felt so responsible and it was almost impossible for her to let that go.
That extreme example motivates me to take a deep look into the small examples in my everyday interpreting life. Simple comments such as "Isn't there someone hearing who can help me?", "Why are you flashing your hands in my face?", "How do you know? You're deaf!", can leave such an impact. But really, its not my job to protect anyone. AND, what I thought of yesterday, that Deaf client probably knows how to handle those situations better than me!!!! I mean, he/she is deaf, that is his/her life!
That is my fault for thinking I knew better.
After I finished work yesterday, I came home to talk to my husband about how that meeting made me feel. He is not an interpreter, but he can totally relate. Thats how I know it is not just an interpreting issue, but a life issue. I need to know when it is my responsibility and when it is not. When to feel bad and when I don't need to. Life is stressful enough, why carry on more than I have to!!!
I hope whoever, if anyone, reads this today, takes a little extra time to see if you are carrying around guilt for something you do not need to feel guilty about. Then, "Let it go and be at peace about it".
So many times in life we have these feelings of guilt and it really turns out that there is no need to feel that way. I will be praying for you that you will be able to leave your work at work and not carry these feelings with you. It just shows that you are a very caring person. I love you my sweet niece.
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